Monday, September 9, 2013

Life can suck sometimes

Ok, so as promised here is an update.  I was so excited for last Wednesdays Bariatric cooking class, and I was a little disappointed.  It was basically a refresher of the Winning and losing class I had taken previously.  Overall though, it was not too bad.

Last Friday I also had my meeting with the surgeon. I was so excited about this, and came out feeling discouraged, disappointed and saddened.  Was it all over for me? Was all this hard work for nothing?

I met with my doctor, and he seemed quite nice.  Definitely strict to his reputation, but he did not make me feel very comfortable.  He did not know much about me, even though he said he has been hearing good things.  He said I need to exercise more, even though he did not know what I was doing.  Ironically he said a friend of mine was doing great, and she does less than I do?? WTF?!?!?!  I had expected more praise for my hard work. I have lost 40 lbs!!! in 4 months! Seriously!!

On top of this, my gastroscopy is November 12th! I was hoping to have it early October and Surgery early November.  This stresses me out. I was hoping to get back into school around Nov 18th, and now I may have to choose between school or my surgery.  I expressed my concerns to my doctor, and he said not to go back to school, and concentrate on his health.  He has no idea how hard I have worked to get back into school, and to give that up, might make me miss my career for good.  How can I be forced to make this decision.

On top of this, my boss at work pulls me aside, and basically tells me that he may need to lay me off.  WTF! I am a major asset to the company, and he tells me this.  Hell NO!  I am not letting other people decide my fate for me.  I decide my fate, and this is not going to stop me.

I do not know what I am going to do, but I have to make a decision that is best for me.  At this moment, it looks like school is more important.  If I have to, I will postpone surgery until next summer.  I do not wan to do that, but if I am forced to make a choice, school wins.

I hope everything gets better

On a more positive note, I weigh 5 lbs less this birthday, then I did on my last birthday.  My birthday is this Saturday, it sure would be nice for something to go right.

Until later,

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