One month progress on my bikini bod

So, I have only ran twice this month..... not proud of myself.
I am not making excuses....   yes I am...
I have been quite ill.  I have had quite severe flank pain, severe stomach pain and abdominal pain.
The doctors still do not know what is wrong. I have 2 ultrasounds to come. 
This is not an easy surgery. Even 15 months out, I still struggle.
I am really getting into a healthy mind set though. I want to do better, but some old habits keep creeping up on me.
I am hoping my pain will go away soon, and I can get back to running.

As promised however, here is my monthly update.  I am still 169 pounds.

Where I am at.

So it has been a long time since I have written and I am actually doing really well!
I have lost 164 pounds so far and have no more than 30 pounds to go.

So this begins my second journey. I currently weigh 169 pounds, I have almost lost more than I weigh!

So my goal this year is not "weight loss" but weight toning.  I am going to have an adventure of getting my bikini body, even if it is worn with a tank top!  In 1 year I am going to Mexico and will wear a bikini!

So my goal is to lose 20 pounds by summer, so that is is about 4 pounds per month by June 1st.
Really my goal is to have a "normal" BMI, and i do secretly want to weigh about 134 pounds.
But, this is only a minor goal, my ultimate goal is to be super healthy no matter what I weigh.

How am I going to achieve this?
Running! I plan to compete in several races this year (all fun races) and improve my body.
So for sure, I am going to run in "The Dirty Dash" and the "Spartan Race".
This summer I am planning to run at least 1 run a month!

I love mud races, they are so exhilarating!

I will probably do color me rad as well, who knows.

I am not sure yet, but I am definitely interested in doing a 10k this summer again. Hopefully tough mudder next year.

How else do I plan to attain this?

Gum weights. I plan to master triceps dips, chin - ups,  planks, etc. I will finally be a weight lifting girl.

I might even hire a personal trainer this summer to help me achieve these goals.

I have so many things I want to do this summer. It is going to be epic!

I am also hoping to post a picture of my progress each month to show you how I am doing.
This does of course mean that I have to post some before pictures.
I have lost 15 pounds since my last "semi-naked" picture so I will post that one and the one for today. (Probably tomorrow when it is light enough out to take a decent picture.)
Oh, the things I think of at 9 pm haha

Now that my pneumonia is getting better, I am much more excited to get this going.

Btw, new years really has nothing to do with this, this is just me!
I slaughtered my new years resolution from last year!

I will hopefully post my new years resolution on nee years day. I am going to Gibsons for a few days with my hubby, so I will need to have something to do!

~Ciao

Chicken burgers with zucchini beet stirfry

So for tonights dinner, I had a chicken burger that was bought from costco, with spiralized beet noodles and zucchini noodles.
Ok, so not every meal can be great right. So I boiled my beets so they were tender, which is a way I like them. Followed by Sautéing them with the zucchini for a couple minutes in olive oil, salt and pepper.  This meal I found to mediocre at best. The burger made me feel a little ill, and the zucchini beet mixture wasn't great. This is what happens when you experiment. You figure out what does and does not work.  I didn't like tonights, but I am sure others will be great.

Still struggling

I wanted to write today about my experience with my "easy way out". First of all, this has been far from being the easy way out. I am regretting my decision to have had this surgery.
Last Thursday I was admitted again into emergency as I had another gall bladder attack. I am feeling so lonely right now. My M. Is amazing and is always there for me, but I feel a little lonely in the journey today. 
Recently I went to a bariatric support meeting with locals and did not feel very supported. I had intentions to discuss my troubles but found I was defending myself more. I am not sure if I will go again to another. I am extremely grateful I had a good friend there to help defend me because I was feeling frustrated. Ok so back to the topic at hand.
So I am still not getting in my protein or water, and am finding that my body is acting nasty towards me lately. I am getting nauseated and my stomach doesn't "like" the food I give it.
I admit I have fallen off the bandwagon of logging my food, but in part I felt like it was depressing me. I was not getting enough protein or water and felt like it was something else that my nutritionist would harp on. I feel like they just want to hear everything is going well, and when it isn't it seems like I get the response of "well you know you should do x" where x is the thing I am deficient in. 
So recently I have been considering my trend and most days I am still getting under 600 calories. In my research this is not what others are experiencing at my stage. When I asked about the group, they basically stated that I am early and I shouldn't be concerned.
I appreciate their insight, but I felt that I was not hearing what I wanted to hear. To be honest I did not know what I wanted to hear, but I think I wanted some sympathy and reassurance. I felt like my feeling were not validated and what I was thinking/feeling was redundant. Since said meeting, I have been wondering and even being more fearful about my future. 
I am afraid of losing too mich weight, I went on the scale today and lost 2.5lbs since yesterday. I don't think I am in the right state of kind to address these issues. If I cannot wrap my head around these issues, I will definitely seek out help.
One thing I am serious about this time is my dedication to do this right. I want to be healthy forever. I did not go through this radical surgery to end up healthy thin to only regain this all again.  I know people say this early out, but I am dead serious. I even stood my ground with my nutritionist when she tried to get me to do something I clearly would not want to do forever. I am not sure if I was not ready for that addition or the thought was so unappealing that I immediately dismissed it.  I am realizing however that what she recommends is always in my mind.
The big things here, are that I know I am struggling with intake.  This has nothing to do with time or with lack of energy. I have time and I set time aside for my food and water. I am struggling with the physical restriction and side effects. I am able to drink 64oz of water a day, but it makes my stomach feel crappy.  I don't want to do something that makes me feel horrible. Does that make sense?
So my goal for now is to speak with guru jon, my mentor and trainer, and seek his advice. I trust Jon and never feel judged by him.
So until then, rant over.
~ciao

Breakfast Burritos

My first entry into my new format for blogged food.

I wanted to create a breakfast item that could be frozen and taken for breakfasts while on the go. 

The other day at work, I was in a hurry, like I always am, and did not have time to make breakfasst in the morning.  After surgery, meals can take up to an hour to eat, so I did not have time to sit and indulge.

This is a huge reason I got fat to begin with... FAST FOOD IS A LIFE SAVER, or at least is was. That morning I had a breakfast burrito from McDonalds.  I was astounded by the rediculous amount of poor nutrition was in this, and it was a healthy option.  

Calories: 300

Carbs: 24

Protein: 13

Fiber: 3

I wondered how to get in better nutrition, more bang for my buck as it were.

So I created my own breakfast burritos.  They are small, full of nutrition, and filling.  My husband even likes it!

Breakfast Burritos

Nutritional Information

Ingredients

Makes 14 Burritos

8 slices Lilydale Extra Lean Turkey - Bacon Style (or whichever brand or style you like)

1 Carton of Egg Creations Original

1 whole bell pepper (I used 1/2 yellow and 1/2 green)

8g of fresh chives

180g of Cheese (I used 178g specifically with Cracker Barrel Marble Cheese)

14 Whole Wheat Tortillas (I used Dempsters thins)

Spray a pan with just enough olive oil to coat the bottom, and saute the peppers and chives. (Can leave raw if you like more crunch in your burritos)

 Cut the 8 slices of "bacon", and saute them up (no oil)

 Add entire carton with salt and pepper to taste, and scramble the eggs

 Add about 30g of egg to each tortilla, 1T of veggies, 1T of meat and 1T of cheese

Wrap tortillas as follows

 

Wrap in parchment paper and store in freezer bags, marking them with name and date. Freeze for a maximum of 3 months.