Thursday, October 24, 2013

YAY!! Down again!

So I am feeling so good right now!  I have lost 5 pounds so far on my pre-op diet.  I know it doesn't sound like a huge amount in comparison to others, but it gets me closer to my goal.  I have two goals in mind before my surgery, but I would be so ecstatic if I only made one of them.

My first goal is to be 283 lbs, as that would mean that I have lost 50lbs on my own before surgery.  My other goal is to be 279 lbs, as that is lower than my icky weight before, when I made the turnaround decision for my life.  I was not ready for surgery, as I viewed it as a cop out, but I realized that diets were not working.  Never did I realize that the surgery would save my life mentally and physically.  At 280lbs, I made a vow to myself.  I would try to lose weight one more time on my own, if I could not do it, and yo-yoed up to 300lbs, I obviously needed help, as I could not do it on my own.

On that diet, I lost down to 272lbs, and nothing lower.  I was struggling with school, and medically I had pneumonia, and bronchitis for 4 months.  So needless to say, I ballooned up to 301lbs.  At that time, I had enough! I marched into my doctor and asked for a referral.

I think the problem people have with weight loss surgery, is the belief, that it is admitting that you cannot lose weight on the more "traditional" way, of exercise and fitness.  What these people, myself at one time included, do not understand that it is just the latter.  We are masters of losing weight, our yo-yo dieting proves this.  Where we struggle with weight loss is maintaining the loss we have achieved.  So this is how I view weight loss surgery, I don't see it as a tool to make me lose weight, although it sure does a good job!  I see it as tool to help me maintain.  On low calorie diets, we essentially starve ourselves, then cheat, followed by beating ourselves up about it, and eventually we feel so deprived that we regain it all back and more by eating unhealthy.  Even a small increase in portion size, leads to re-gain.

What I like about this surgery, is that I plan to "cheat", I plan to "indulge" in yumminess, but in doing so I will keep mindful of my protein, carbs, fats and fiber intake.  If I am at a party, and see a great cake, I will have a small piece.  My tool helps me from eating 2 or 3 pieces.  There is nothing wrong with indulging, it is not going make you fat again, it not going to stretch the pouch, but it will satisfy your needs without consequences per-say.  My dietitian has a saying, that is my new motto, "Be good 80% of the time, but you can be bad the other 20% of the time".  Just do not do it every day haha!

As you probably noticed earlier before I went off on a different tangent ha ha! I did not state calories in my previous list of things to track.  Are you surprised?  I do not plan to count calories, as I will get the required nutrients from tracking everything else.  If I get the required protein and carbs, I should not have 2500 calories.  I think people focus too much on the calories number, I did.  In the past, I would be on a 1200 calorie diet, but in this diet, I was getting too many carbs, too little protein and way too much fat, but it still was only 1200 calories.  This is not healthy in my eyes, and I plan to eat to live not live to eat ~ Benjamin Franklin.

This, as cliche as it is, is a lifestyle change, and I want to make the most of my second chance in life.  Not everyone gets this opportunity, and I am so honored to be allowed this surgery.  I am so grateful!


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